Yesterday afternoon I was relaxing with my neighbors Mickey and Seth. Mickey's an older gent, a retired machinest with lank dingy hair and at least one white T-shirt. Seth's a Lutheran minister. We were drinking beer and discussing politics on Mickey's patio.
"I can't believe he might actually win," Seth said over the top of his mug of homebrew -- it's always BYOB on Mickey's patio. "He's making a mockery of this whole thing, you know, and he's still probably going to get nominated. And he might win the whole thing."
"Who?" Mickey asked around a Camel Light. "Trump?"
"Yes, Trump," Seth answered.
Mickey looked nonplussed. I drank some beer and watched.
"Doesn't that bother you?" Seth pressed.
Mickey shrugged. He crushed out his cigarette and wrenched another tallboy of Miller Lite from the six-holed plastic dolphin killer.
Seth looked annoyed. "Well," he said, "at least it's not my party. I guess I should be glad that Trump is wrecking the Republicans. It makes it easier on us in November." I could tell he didn't mean it. Seth votes Democrat because he's a good liberal whose heart bleeds in all the right places, but he likes the give and take of the two-party system. He likes Republicans. He was drinking with two at the moment.
In any case, it didn't phase Mickey. He slowly opened his tallboy and lit another Camel. He exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Problem with Trump ain't Trump," he said.
"Say again?" Seth asked.
"The problem with Trump ain't Trump."
Seth looked at me for clarification. I shrugged. Heaven only knows where Mickey might be going when he first starts in.
"How do you figure that?" Seth asked. "The guy's a blowhard. He's rude, unqualified, astoundingly ignorant of policy issues for a guy running for president. He's a rac-" Here he stopped and fixed me with a look; he reads my blog. "He's a bigot, at least," he continued. "This morning he refused to denounce David Duke. Did you guys see that? He's turned your debates into sensationalized wrestling matches. He's turned the entire Muslim world -- practically the entire world outside America -- against him with the stuff he's said. How can you say he's not a problem?"
Seth looked at both of us for an answer. I wasn't going to undertake it, since it was Mickey's assertion, but while Mickey was thinking I did point out that Putin seemed to think Trump was alright. Mickey grinned. He was ready to talk.
"Yeah," he said, "Trump's a show. The man's been a show for thirty something years. We all know that, and we knew that going in. But I said 6 months ago that he's great for American politics, and I stand by it. He cuts through the B.S. and calls a spade a spade. Sometimes he's wrong, but he's never dishonest, except when he's lying. And he lies honest too, not like Hillary. She lies dishonest, because she expects you to believe her. Trump doesn't care. In a way, he's even honest about his own ignorance if you listen careful enough. That's why the media can't get enough of him. He's good T.V. and he undermines, as you say, the whole political game. But that's good. We've needed somebody to take a wrecking ball to Washington culture for a long time. He's not a problem."
Mickey took a drag and a swig while Seth and I tried to get our heads around what he said. After a minute, Seth asked, "So what then is the problem? I assume you think there's a problem?"
"Sure, there's a problem," Mickey said. "The problem is that we're no longer capable of self-government. Dennis Miller said it months ago on O'Reilly: We're a nation of ignorant, narcissistic celebrity whores, drunk on the delusion of entitlement and high on pop-culture. We're hardly the sort of people capable of seriously going to the polls and choosing a leader of the free world. How many people that are voting this fall, you reckon, have read a book this year? Hell, this five years? Since high school? You think any of them have any clue what's in the Constitution? I'm not talking about having read it; I'm talking about having any vague idea beyond the first two amendments what is actually in the document. Miller was right. Only thing is, when he first said that, he thought it meant we were stuck with Hillary. He didn't realize there was a bigger full of crap icon coming down the pipe. Trump is the perfect man for our time. Just like always, we will get what we choose. Neat thing about America, ain't it? Our government is a reflection of our people. So, no, Trump's not the problem. The electorate is the problem. They're mistaking the prophet who points out the problems for the messiah that's going to solve them. You'd think they hadn't just made that mistake eight short years ago."
I watched Seth. He was processing. He seemed to make his peace with what Mickey said and took a drink. Suddenly he looked a little self-satisfied. "Well, that makes sense, I suppose," he said. "I guess you could say you guys had it coming. I read an article in The Atlantic the other day that argued it was the Conservative populism that created Trump. All the anger and alarmism of talk radio and Fox News, you know, producing a populist electorate that is irrationally fed up with the establishment and willing to follow anyone so long as he's pledged to tearing it apart."
"Mm-hmm," Mickey said. "I read it, but don't get too smug and comfortable in your ivory lawn chair over their, preacher. You guys got your own internecine problems brewing. Don't be too sure that Bernie Sanders isn't your Sarah Palin."
Seth was taken aback. "What?" he laughed. "Do you seriously mean to equate Sanders' millenials with....with..."
"The angry mob?" Mickey finished for him. "Teabaggers?"
That was unfair. Seth, being a man of God, had never used that particular pejorative.
Mickey went on. "You're damned right I do. Only thing is, like Trump, the Tea Party is honest. Bernie's college kids don't even know how ignorant they are. Come on, Seth. I know you lefties like to stick to your own news networks, but surely you've seen some of the clips of undergrads supporting Sanders who can't even define Socialism. These kids are sheep. They're not critical thinkers. And speaking of critical thinkers, did you see the polling results on the African-American vote in South Carolina? Clinton won 87% of that bloc. You know who wins 87% of the vote? Iranian presidents. Militaristic totalitarian dictators. I don't know what's going on with the African-American Democrats in South Carolina, and I'm not going to guess -- God knows you guys think I'm racist enough as it is -- but I'll tell you who doesn't vote 87% on one candidate: an informed and free thinking populace of any kind whose results aren't monkeyed with at the polling station. So don't lecture me about the conservative 'monster' like you ain't got one of your own. The Democratic primary doesn't have anything more right about it than the Republican one does. You guys just don't get as much news because you don't have as loud a 'carnival barker' on your side."
Seth didn't have a response to that. Neither did I, really. All in all, it seemed about right to me. Most of it, anyway. Seth looked at us each in turn, then he asked Mickey, "But you're not voting for Trump?"
Mickey's Camel was in his mouth while he was wrenching free another tallboy, so he had to speak around it. "Hell no. Not in the primary. Probably vote for Rubio. Not that he has much of a chance."
Seth turned to me. "You?"
"Rubio," I nodded.
Seth took a drink. "Well, I suppose I'm in the same boat as you gents. I'm feeling the Bern. But unlike the millenials you refer to, Mickey, I can define socialism, and I think that Bernie's version of it is right for America. I only regret I'll probably have to vote for a watered down version of it in the general. What about you guys? Will you vote for Trump in the general?"
We both nodded. Seth looked perplexed and shot Mickey an indignant question. "What about all you just said about Trump and what's wrong with the electorate?"
Mickey grinned -- or maybe it was a grimace. "Well," he said, "despite the grim prospect presented by a Clinton-Trump election, you still got to go with the lesser of evils. I trust Trump more than I do Hillary with the Supreme Court appointments, and I do think he'll fix the V.A. -- Hillary hates vets. And besides," Mickey said, "when he lies, he lies honest."
"I can't believe he might actually win," Seth said over the top of his mug of homebrew -- it's always BYOB on Mickey's patio. "He's making a mockery of this whole thing, you know, and he's still probably going to get nominated. And he might win the whole thing."
"Who?" Mickey asked around a Camel Light. "Trump?"
"Yes, Trump," Seth answered.
Mickey looked nonplussed. I drank some beer and watched.
"Doesn't that bother you?" Seth pressed.
Mickey shrugged. He crushed out his cigarette and wrenched another tallboy of Miller Lite from the six-holed plastic dolphin killer.
Seth looked annoyed. "Well," he said, "at least it's not my party. I guess I should be glad that Trump is wrecking the Republicans. It makes it easier on us in November." I could tell he didn't mean it. Seth votes Democrat because he's a good liberal whose heart bleeds in all the right places, but he likes the give and take of the two-party system. He likes Republicans. He was drinking with two at the moment.
In any case, it didn't phase Mickey. He slowly opened his tallboy and lit another Camel. He exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Problem with Trump ain't Trump," he said.
"Say again?" Seth asked.
"The problem with Trump ain't Trump."
Seth looked at me for clarification. I shrugged. Heaven only knows where Mickey might be going when he first starts in.
"How do you figure that?" Seth asked. "The guy's a blowhard. He's rude, unqualified, astoundingly ignorant of policy issues for a guy running for president. He's a rac-" Here he stopped and fixed me with a look; he reads my blog. "He's a bigot, at least," he continued. "This morning he refused to denounce David Duke. Did you guys see that? He's turned your debates into sensationalized wrestling matches. He's turned the entire Muslim world -- practically the entire world outside America -- against him with the stuff he's said. How can you say he's not a problem?"
Seth looked at both of us for an answer. I wasn't going to undertake it, since it was Mickey's assertion, but while Mickey was thinking I did point out that Putin seemed to think Trump was alright. Mickey grinned. He was ready to talk.
"Yeah," he said, "Trump's a show. The man's been a show for thirty something years. We all know that, and we knew that going in. But I said 6 months ago that he's great for American politics, and I stand by it. He cuts through the B.S. and calls a spade a spade. Sometimes he's wrong, but he's never dishonest, except when he's lying. And he lies honest too, not like Hillary. She lies dishonest, because she expects you to believe her. Trump doesn't care. In a way, he's even honest about his own ignorance if you listen careful enough. That's why the media can't get enough of him. He's good T.V. and he undermines, as you say, the whole political game. But that's good. We've needed somebody to take a wrecking ball to Washington culture for a long time. He's not a problem."
Mickey took a drag and a swig while Seth and I tried to get our heads around what he said. After a minute, Seth asked, "So what then is the problem? I assume you think there's a problem?"
"Sure, there's a problem," Mickey said. "The problem is that we're no longer capable of self-government. Dennis Miller said it months ago on O'Reilly: We're a nation of ignorant, narcissistic celebrity whores, drunk on the delusion of entitlement and high on pop-culture. We're hardly the sort of people capable of seriously going to the polls and choosing a leader of the free world. How many people that are voting this fall, you reckon, have read a book this year? Hell, this five years? Since high school? You think any of them have any clue what's in the Constitution? I'm not talking about having read it; I'm talking about having any vague idea beyond the first two amendments what is actually in the document. Miller was right. Only thing is, when he first said that, he thought it meant we were stuck with Hillary. He didn't realize there was a bigger full of crap icon coming down the pipe. Trump is the perfect man for our time. Just like always, we will get what we choose. Neat thing about America, ain't it? Our government is a reflection of our people. So, no, Trump's not the problem. The electorate is the problem. They're mistaking the prophet who points out the problems for the messiah that's going to solve them. You'd think they hadn't just made that mistake eight short years ago."
I watched Seth. He was processing. He seemed to make his peace with what Mickey said and took a drink. Suddenly he looked a little self-satisfied. "Well, that makes sense, I suppose," he said. "I guess you could say you guys had it coming. I read an article in The Atlantic the other day that argued it was the Conservative populism that created Trump. All the anger and alarmism of talk radio and Fox News, you know, producing a populist electorate that is irrationally fed up with the establishment and willing to follow anyone so long as he's pledged to tearing it apart."
"Mm-hmm," Mickey said. "I read it, but don't get too smug and comfortable in your ivory lawn chair over their, preacher. You guys got your own internecine problems brewing. Don't be too sure that Bernie Sanders isn't your Sarah Palin."
Seth was taken aback. "What?" he laughed. "Do you seriously mean to equate Sanders' millenials with....with..."
"The angry mob?" Mickey finished for him. "Teabaggers?"
That was unfair. Seth, being a man of God, had never used that particular pejorative.
Mickey went on. "You're damned right I do. Only thing is, like Trump, the Tea Party is honest. Bernie's college kids don't even know how ignorant they are. Come on, Seth. I know you lefties like to stick to your own news networks, but surely you've seen some of the clips of undergrads supporting Sanders who can't even define Socialism. These kids are sheep. They're not critical thinkers. And speaking of critical thinkers, did you see the polling results on the African-American vote in South Carolina? Clinton won 87% of that bloc. You know who wins 87% of the vote? Iranian presidents. Militaristic totalitarian dictators. I don't know what's going on with the African-American Democrats in South Carolina, and I'm not going to guess -- God knows you guys think I'm racist enough as it is -- but I'll tell you who doesn't vote 87% on one candidate: an informed and free thinking populace of any kind whose results aren't monkeyed with at the polling station. So don't lecture me about the conservative 'monster' like you ain't got one of your own. The Democratic primary doesn't have anything more right about it than the Republican one does. You guys just don't get as much news because you don't have as loud a 'carnival barker' on your side."
Seth didn't have a response to that. Neither did I, really. All in all, it seemed about right to me. Most of it, anyway. Seth looked at us each in turn, then he asked Mickey, "But you're not voting for Trump?"
Mickey's Camel was in his mouth while he was wrenching free another tallboy, so he had to speak around it. "Hell no. Not in the primary. Probably vote for Rubio. Not that he has much of a chance."
Seth turned to me. "You?"
"Rubio," I nodded.
Seth took a drink. "Well, I suppose I'm in the same boat as you gents. I'm feeling the Bern. But unlike the millenials you refer to, Mickey, I can define socialism, and I think that Bernie's version of it is right for America. I only regret I'll probably have to vote for a watered down version of it in the general. What about you guys? Will you vote for Trump in the general?"
We both nodded. Seth looked perplexed and shot Mickey an indignant question. "What about all you just said about Trump and what's wrong with the electorate?"
Mickey grinned -- or maybe it was a grimace. "Well," he said, "despite the grim prospect presented by a Clinton-Trump election, you still got to go with the lesser of evils. I trust Trump more than I do Hillary with the Supreme Court appointments, and I do think he'll fix the V.A. -- Hillary hates vets. And besides," Mickey said, "when he lies, he lies honest."
No comments:
Post a Comment